#67 - Batchelor's Thai Green Curry Flavour Noodles

• Brand: Batchelor’s Super Noodles
• Flavour: Thai Green Curry
• Cost: £0.50 (reduced from £0.68)
• From: Tesco
• Description: Super Noodles in a tasty Thai green curry flavour sauce
• Weight: 100g (400g when prepared)
• Allergies: Contains Celery, Gluten, Milk and Wheat

AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL

I must be crazy, all I've managed to get when I've had these so called 'super' noodles in the past is annoyed. It really gets to me that these awful products are so popular when there's so much better out there and, in the main, at a cheaper price. I grew up in a time when people were proud of British products, when we were competing on the world stage in every way we could. So, can someone please tell me why this particular British manufacturer doesn't seem to care in the slightest. I can see them now in their product development meetings, "Well it doesn't taste anything like the name we've given it, the noodles are a bit sticky and it's overpriced - well done everyone, remember consistency is key!" What an absolute joke, they should be embarrassed. Instant noodles are a multi billion pound industry throughout the world and yet I can hardly imagine any country outside of the UK stocking this bilge, not when the competition is so good. I have, at this stage, to give it up to Kabuto - a truly wonderful British producer of outstanding noodle products that I could see on the shelves of any supermarket anywhere in the world. Wow, I almost forgot about Batchelor's other forays into the noodle market with their Deli Box and Pot Shot ranges - incredible really that they'd try to build anything on the foundation that is Super Noodles. I was always taught to make sure you had a strong foundation otherwise everything can come crashing down. I'm normally a very liberal person but honestly, if I heard Batchelor's noodle department had come crashing down I might do a jig before hastily wishing all of the factory workers luck in finding a new position. The developers however, well...

You may be wondering "Why oh Noodle King do you put yourself through this?" and my answer is simple, I am dedicated to the cause of finding the best noodle product on the market. This year I've already done 66 reviews and there are many more to do, I cant simply miss one out, who knows I might get the shock of my life and find one that I really like. I mean, 3 of the 14 Batchelor's products I've reviewed so far have scored over 5 points, take a look at the Noodle League and see for yourselves.

So, shall we get on with it... 

Like most packet products none of the materials used are recyclable, the preparation is easy though. This scores them 0.5 out of 2 because you get half a point for easy prep, half a point if you can eat direct from the packaging and then between 0 and 1 points depending on how recyclable the packaging is.

How do they taste? Sweet and salty with a hint of spice. A quick look at the ingredients and apparently they contain onion powder, garlic powder, ginger, coriander, vinegar, chilli, parsley and tomato powder - REALLY??? I can perhaps taste a little bit of ginger, onion and garlic. I can see the parsley but it doesn't seem to do anything of any note to the overall flavour which is just bland-salty-sweetness. This section allows for 4 points for overall flavour, I am going to give them 1 point, and that's generous.

Do they remind me of a traditional Thai green curry dish? The answer is HELL NO! Despite my penchant for instant noodles I am actually a pretty good cook. Thai curries are very popular in my household and the first things I think of when I'm thinking of making one are coconut milk and lemongrass. Neither of these are in the ingredients. Then I think of kaffir lime leaves, I suppose citric acid will have to do eh Batchelor's? The ones I cook are always topped with fresh coriander leaves to really bring home that citrus taste over the creamy sauce and I can't taste any coriander in this dish at all. Also, my dish would also contain sugar and salt, the difference being that they wouldn't be the predominant flavours. Needless to say, of the two points available for this section, this product is getting 0.

How do I feel now I've finished it? The answer is furious but that doesn't answer the question directly. I actually feel satiated but with a taste in my mouth that reminds me of when you lick the top of a square battery - it ain't nice. They get 1 point out of two.

Conclusion: Batchelor's need to wake up, as do the British public, the imported products that are available in supermarkets are of a higher quality and are usually cheaper for an equivalent product. As I said before, take a look at the Noodle League and you'll see what's out there. Also, a product that contains 60% of your daily suggested saturated fat intake can only be described one way - EVIL!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 2.5/10

I shouldn't go on but I'm going to; proudly putting no artificial, colours or preservatives on the packet is great but then also proudly displaying that one packet contains 34% of your daily fat, 60% of your daily saturates and 26% of your daily salt is weird. Also, looking at the full ingredients list you see the product contains butylated hydroxyanisole, propyl gallate and maltodextrin. Don't be surprised if you don't know what any of these are but if you want to find out, have a look at the Glossary.