Thursday 27 June 2013

#69 - Tiger Tiger Thai Red Curry Flavour Instant Noodles

  • Brand: Tiger Tiger
  • Flavour: Thai Red Curry Flavour
  • Cost: £0.62
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: N/A
  • Weight: 100g (400g when hydrated)
  • Allergies: Contains Wheat, Soya Bean; May Contain Milk, Nuts, Celery, Mustard, Sesame

Mmmmm, if you've ever had a Thai red curry I bet you loved it, creamy and spicy with a lovely freshness from citrus flavours and lemongrass, plus a lovely depth from spices like cumin and ginger - it's a real favourite of mine. So when I saw this packet in Tesco I picked it up with glee, clearly forgetting how thoroughly unimpressed I was with the other Tiger Tiger flavour I've tried, Tikka Masala.

Anyway, as I always say, "You can't judge the whole group by the actions of an individual" so off we go. Usual score for a packet noodle product is 0.5 out of 2 for the first section, this is no different. They get half a point for simple prep instructions, no points for not being able to eat straight from the packet and no points for recyclability.

How do they taste? The answer is of fried noodles,  which although being a nice flavour isn't really what I signed up for. The ingredients list contains curry powder and spices which include coriander, chilli, cumin, turmeric, fennel, cinnamon, star anise, clove, paprika, ginger and lemongrass. The volumes of these must be tiny though because in total there's 1.2% curry powder (curry powder to cloves) and 1.2% spices (paprika, ginger & lemongrass). The product weighs 100g, that means there's 1.2g of curry powder and 1.2g of spices. I don't have any 0.1 sensitive scales so I can't show you what this looks like but I do know this - it's not a lot. As I write this I have a chilli heat sensation spreading through my mouth but, and I didn't mention this earlier, there's also listings for chilli powder and garlic powder - it is essentially as if they needn't have bothered with the curry powder and spices. Flavour score is 1 out of 4.

Do they remind me of a Thai red curry? The answer is no, they taste of noodles with a hint of chilli - that is all.

How do I feel now I've finished it? Apart from concerned that I have another version of Tiger Tiger noodles in the cupboard I don't feel too bad. I enjoy the chilli sensation and I certainly feel satiated. I'm going to be kind here and offer 1.5 out of 2.

Conclusion: Don't believe everything you read, which is a bit ridiculous when you're reading a product description

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 3/4

Friday 21 June 2013

#68 - Koka Beef Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Koka Noodles
  • Flavour: BeefFlavour
  • Cost: £0.39
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Oriential Style Instant Noodles
  • Weight: 85g (485g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: None Listed

Another packet of Koka Noodles from our Singaporean friends at Tat Hui Foods. This is the packet version of their beef flavour.

0.5 out of 2 for section 1 as they're easy to prepare (add to a pan of 400ml boiling water and simmer for 2-3 minutes) but you have to get your own eating vessel and none of the packaging is recyclable.

How do they taste? The answer is quite nice. They're a lovely consistency and you get a good amount of broth. This is where most of the flavour is as the noodles themselves don't seem to soak up much of the flavour but the taste is quite pleasant and not too salty. I'll go for 2 out of 4.

Do they remind me of a beef dish? The answer is only slightly as there is a hint of beef flavour. Looking at the ingredients list they have added some artificial beef flavour which is a lot more than certain UK manufacturers do, there's also a reference to spices, soya bean extract and good old MSG. I can only give half a point out of 2 here.

How do I feel now I've finished? The answer is pretty good, nice flavour left in the old noodle hole and ready to go for the afternoon. 2 out of 2.

Conclusion: For a light lunch you can't go far wrong with this 39p product.

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 5/10

Thursday 20 June 2013

#67 - Batchelor's Thai Green Curry Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Batchelor’s Super Noodles
  • Flavour: Thai Green Curry
  • Cost: £0.50 (reduced from £0.68)
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Super Noodles in a tasty Thai green curry flavour sauce
  • Weight: 100g (400g when prepared)
  • Allergies: Contains Celery, Gluten, Milk and Wheat

AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL

I must be crazy, all I've managed to get when I've had these so called 'super' noodles in the past is annoyed. It really gets to me that these awful products are so popular when there's so much better out there and, in the main, at a cheaper price. I grew up in a time when people were proud of British products, when we were competing on the world stage in every way we could. So, can someone please tell me why this particular British manufacturer doesn't seem to care in the slightest. I can see them now in their product development meetings, "Well it doesn't taste anything like the name we've given it, the noodles are a bit sticky and it's overpriced - well done everyone, remember consistency is key!" What an absolute joke, they should be embarrassed. Instant noodles are a multi billion pound industry throughout the world and yet I can hardly imagine any country outside of the UK stocking this bilge, not when the competition is so good. I have, at this stage, to give it up to Kabuto - a truly wonderful British producer of outstanding noodle products that I could see on the shelves of any supermarket anywhere in the world. Wow, I almost forgot about Batchelor's other forays into the noodle market with their Deli Box and Pot Shot ranges - incredible really that they'd try to build anything on the foundation that is Super Noodles. I was always taught to make sure you had a strong foundation otherwise everything can come crashing down. I'm normally a very liberal person but honestly, if I heard Batchelor's noodle department had come crashing down I might do a jig before hastily wishing all of the factory workers luck in finding a new position. The developers however, well...

You may be wondering "Why oh Noodle King do you put yourself through this?" and my answer is simple, I am dedicated to the cause of finding the best noodle product on the market. This year I've already done 66 reviews and there are many more to do, I cant simply miss one out, who knows I might get the shock of my life and find one that I really like. I mean, 3 of the 14 Batchelor's products I've reviewed so far have scored over 5 points, take a look at the Noodle League and see for yourselves.

So, shall we get on with it... 

Like most packet products none of the materials used are recyclable, the preparation is easy though. This scores them 0.5 out of 2 because you get half a point for easy prep, half a point if you can eat direct from the packaging and then between 0 and 1 points depending on how recyclable the packaging is.

How do they taste? Sweet and salty with a hint of spice. A quick look at the ingredients and apparently they contain onion powder, garlic powder, ginger, coriander, vinegar, chilli, parsley and tomato powder - REALLY??? I can perhaps taste a little bit of ginger, onion and garlic. I can see the parsley but it doesn't seem to do anything of any note to the overall flavour which is just bland-salty-sweetness. This section allows for 4 points for overall flavour, I am going to give them 1 point, and that's generous.

Do they remind me of a traditional Thai green curry dish? The answer is HELL NO! Despite my penchant for instant noodles I am actually a pretty good cook. Thai curries are very popular in my household and the first things I think of when I'm thinking of making one are coconut milk and lemongrass. Neither of these are in the ingredients. Then I think of kaffir lime leaves, I suppose citric acid will have to do eh Batchelor's? The ones I cook are always topped with fresh coriander leaves to really bring home that citrus taste over the creamy sauce and I can't taste any coriander in this dish at all. Also, my dish would also contain sugar and salt, the difference being that they wouldn't be the predominant flavours. Needless to say, of the two points available for this section, this product is getting 0.

How do I feel now I've finished it? The answer is furious but that doesn't answer the question directly. I actually feel satiated but with a taste in my mouth that reminds me of when you lick the top of a square battery - it ain't nice. They get 1 point out of two.

Conclusion: Batchelor's need to wake up, as do the British public, the imported products that are available in supermarkets are of a higher quality and are usually cheaper for an equivalent product. As I said before, take a look at the Noodle League and you'll see what's out there. Also, a product that contains 60% of your daily suggested saturated fat intake can only be described one way - EVIL!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 2.5/10

I shouldn't go on but I'm going to; proudly putting no artificial, colours or preservatives on the packet is great but then also proudly displaying that one packet contains 34% of your daily fat, 60% of your daily saturates and 26% of your daily salt is weird. Also, looking at the full ingredients list you see the product contains butylated hydroxyanisole, propyl gallate and maltodextrin. Don't be surprised if you don't know what any of these are but if you want to find out, have a look at the Glossary.

Wednesday 19 June 2013

#66 - Mama Mi Goreng Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Mama
  • Flavour: Mi Goreng
  • Cost: £0.60
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Stir Fried Noodles
  • Weight: 80g (480g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: Wheat, Soy, Crustaceans and Shrimp


Mama noodles are without doubt one of my favourite brands, they always seem to do a fantastic job and put real care into the product. The next step I want them to go for is to put some real care into the ability to recycle their packaging because even though they're delicious and easy to prepare they're only ever going to get 0,5 out of 2 for the first round of scoring. If you don't know by now they get half a point for being easy to prepare, half a point if you can eat straight from the packaging, half a point if the packaging is part recyclable and another half point if they're totally recyclable.

Just so you know, prep with these is a simple as putting the noodles and the contents of 4 flavour sachets (yes, 4!) into a pan of 400ml boiling water and simmering for 3 minutes.

How do they taste? The answer is delicious, I really like these. There's a great chilli kick that surrounds the flavouring and what's really surprising is the amount of artificial flavours in here. Listed as artificial are: oyster, shallot and garlic. I'm not sure how you get those but I'm still impressed. The flavours are a little bit fishy, quite sweet and a lovely taste of onion. Lovely, I'm going 4 out of 4.

Do they remind me of traditional Mi Goreng? Mi Goreng is made with thin yellow noodles fried in cooking oil with garliconion or shallots, fried prawnchicken, or beef, sliced bakso (meatballs), chili, Chinese cabbagecabbagestomatoesegg, and acar (pickles). Ubiquitous in Indonesia, it can be found everywhere in the country, sold by all food vendors from street-hawkers to high-end restaurants. It is an Indonesian one-dish meal favorite, although street food hawkers commonly sell it together with nasi goreng (fried rice). It is commonly available at mamak stalls in Singapore and Malaysia and is often spicy. What they've managed to do here is very impressive and I'm giving them 2 out of 2. I realise there's no beef or chicken flavour but that isn't totally necessary anyway.

How do I feel now I've finished it? Honestly, before lunch I was feeling quite a bit under the weather but this has really woken me up. I feel full and ready to go, what more do you want? 2 out of 2.

Conclusion: Mama noodles rock!

Need 4 Noodles Score: 8.5/10 - another perfect score missed out on due to packaging!

Tuesday 18 June 2013

#65 - Koka Vegetable Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Koka Noodles
  • Flavour: Vegetable Flavour
  • Cost: £0.89
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: N/A
  • Weight: 70g (unknown when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: None Listed


Frothy, like sea, and just as salty

Eagle eyed readers will say "Hey, you've reviewed Koka Vegetable Flavour Noodles before!" and I'd say "Yes, that's true but they were in packet form this is the pot!"

The first big difference is in the price, the packet version are less that half the price of the pot at a whole 50p cheaper and they have a higher net weight which is bizarre. I find it hard to believe that the packaging is worth the extra cost, let's see how we get on.

The afore mentioned packaging isn't recyclable and they even throw in a non-recyclable fork, grrrr. That said, prep is a simple matter of pour, cover, eat so they get 1 out of 2.

How do they taste? The answer is tasty, if not a bit salty. It's essentially a vegetable stock made up of onion powder, soy protein, mushroom powder, chives and a bit of curry powder - what's not to like and then with the added rehydrated vegetables you get a lovely texture too. I'm going to give them 3 out of 4 as that salt is bothering me a little.

Do they remind me of a vegetable dish? The answer is yes, just read above to see why, but the salt is getting overpowering, 1 out of 2.

How do I feel now I've finished it? Well is the answer, satiated but light. I do have this salt left though which isn't great. 1 out of 2.

Conclusion: If you've got the option, I'd go for the packet

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 6/10 which is the same as the packet version but with the extra half point for being able to eat straight from the packaging

Monday 17 June 2013

#64 - Ko-Lee Go Noodles Bomabay Masala Flavour

  • Brand: Ko-Lee Go Noodles
  • Flavour: Bombay Masala
  • Cost: £0.45
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Delicious Noodles, Any Time
  • Weight: 65g (265g when made as a noodle soup)
  • Allergies: Soya, Wheat, Gluten

Back to Ko-Lee Noodles, this time it's another pot. I've already reviewed one pot (Tom Yum) and one packet (Xtreme Hot & Spicy) and both did really well in the Noodle LeagueThis version is Bombay Masala so I'm expecting some real Indian flavours in there, let's see. 

Prep is really easy, add 200ml boiling water for a noodle soup or 150ml for a noodle snack, as usual I went for the noodle soup. For some reason Ko-Lee insist on putting a fork in the pot. Normally I'd have a big rant about this but I'm going to temper that for once. The reason for this is that I've found out that in South East Asia you can get boiling water in all sorts of places for your noodles, I'm talking on trains, in shopping malls, all sorts of places. To this end I understand how a fork may be convenient - I'm still not happy about it but that's all I've got on the subject for today. The rest of the pack is unrecyclable but they still get one out of two for ease of prep and the fact you can eat straight from the packaging.

How do they taste? The answer is interesting. There's a good level of heat in there but it's not a proper chilli hit, it's more of a citric acid hit, not my favourite. According to the ingredients there's more chilli powder than citric acid in there. There's a funny flavour in there too which I can only guess comes from the tomato powder. It's not great but it's not bad, it's just a bit of a mess. Just 1.5 out of 4 here.

Do they remind me of a traditional Masala dish? The answer is no, they need many more spices than chilli and garlic powder to achieve that. There is a bit of an Indian taste profile but honestly, the flavour is a little like a slightly improved Bombay Bad Boy. That's 0.5 out of 2.

How do I feel now I've finished it? The answer is a bit disappointed, but satiated. 1 out of 2.

Conclusion: Ko-Lee should stick to SE Asian flavours.

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 4/10 (this score would have been the same as Pot Noodle's Bombay Bad Boy but Pot Noodles are entirely recyclable, adding the extra point from the first section)

Thursday 13 June 2013

#63 - Mama Shrimp Flavour (Tom Yum) Noodles

  • Brand: Mama
  • Flavour: Shrimp Flavour (Tom Yum)
  • Cost: £0.40
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Oriental Style Instant Noodles
  • Weight: 60g (410g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: Wheat, Soy and Shrimp


AWESOME!

First of all I need to avoid confusion, this is a shrimp flavoured, hot and sour soup. The term Tom Yum is dervied from two Thai words, Tom and Yam. The Tom refers to a boiling process and Yam relates to a Thai (or Lao) spicy and sour saladm thus Tom Yum is the term for hot and sour soup.

Now that's cleared up, let me say one thing - I love Tom Yum and I've been quite impressed with the Mama range of noodles, bring it on!

Typical Mama packaging, nothing is recyclable but I love how they give you a sachet of chilli powder so you can decide how hot to go. My opinion is "if it's in the pack, add it" which is good as I like spicy food. Prep is very simple, just add hot water, cover and leave for 3 minutes. As soon as you add the flavouring you get a real hit of citrus and chilli in the air - excellent.

How do they taste? The answer is good, very good! The chilli is quite intense, as is the citrus and the shrimp flavour manages to peak through over them both. It's a delicious bowl of noodles.

Does it remind me of Shrimp Tom Yum? The answer is yes, yes, yes! The main ingredients of Tom Yum are stock, lemon grass, kaffir lime leaves, galangal, lime juice, fish sauce and chilli peppers - you can taste something that tastes like each of these in this dish, and with the shrimp flavour there too I am really impressed.

How do I feel now I've finished? Apart from the horrible moment after seemingly trying to inhale the broth I feel great, love the flavours left on the palette, enjoyed eating it too. If anything this bowl of noodles has cheered me up when I didn't even realise I needed it.

Conclusion: AWESOME!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 8.5/10 - had they have been in a recyclable packet, that you can eat straight from, these would have scored 10, they're really, really good!

Wednesday 12 June 2013

#62 - Koka Tomato Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Koka Noodles
  • Flavour: Tomato Flavour
  • Cost: £0.39
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: N/A
  • Weight: 85g (485g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: None Listed


Tomato flavour noodles??? Really??? 

I don't think any UK producer would go for something so simple. That said, if you take a look at a Beef & Tomato Pot Noodle there's no attempt to make the thing taste of beef so maybe they should?

Non recyclable packaging but easy to prepare, they get 0.5 out of 2.

My preconception is that these would just be a bit of tomato powder and a sachet of ketchup. I was wrong, you add the flavour sachet (all powder) at the end of cooking with this product and it's clearly packed with tomato extract. As soon as it hits the hot water you get the same smell as when you open a tin of chopped tomatoes, very interesting...

How do they taste? The answer is quite nice. They're a bit sweet, a bit salty and a bit tangy. There's no massive blast of flavour but what you get is quite refreshing. I'll give these 3 out of 4 I think.

Do they remind me of a traditional tomato dish? The answer is yes and that dish is tinned tomato soup. So they don't taste like a tomato exactly but when I cook with tomatoes I always add a bit of sugar and when I serve them I always add salt - doesn't everybody? However, there is an artificial edge to the tomato taste so, out of 2, they achieve 1 point.

How do I feel now I've finished? Well, the flavour has descended into a kind of meaty after taste which isn't great but I'm pretty happy, another 1 out of 2.

Conclusion: Tomato flavour noodles??? Yes!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 5.5/10

Tuesday 11 June 2013

#61 - Mama Pork Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Mama
  • Flavour: Pork Flavour
  • Cost: £0.40
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Oriental Style Instant Noodles
  • Weight: 60g (410g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: Wheat, Soy


More Mama noodles today which makes me happy. The last ones I tried, Kimchi Flavour, were a knock out so here's hoping :-)

The first thing I'd say about these is that they've got different branding than the Kimchi Flavour. The pack is slightly smaller and they're a bit cheaper - actually a whole third cheaper. The packet is still just as unrecyclable, the sachets are pretty much of the same style but the prep is different. All you need to do is add everything to a bowl with 350ml of boiling water, cover and leave for 3 minutes - that's it! Still only get 0.5 out of 2 but I thought that was pretty cool.

How do they taste? The answer is nice. The prevelant taste sensation is the heat from the chilli powder but there's also a deep umami, almost shellfish like, taste that comes right through. There is also a hint of leek flavour too. I like these, they get 3 out of 4 for flavour.

Do they remind me of a pork dish? The answer is only if that pork dish is swimming in chilli and onion. You can't really get any pork flavour but at least they've tried by adding 0.2% artificial pork flavour. Unlucky really, 0.5 out of 2.

How do I feel now I've finished it? The answer is a bit oily. I've got a bit of a slick in my mouth which is coating everything. In terms of satiation I'm good and I do enjoy the lingering sensation of the chilli, it'll have to be 1.5 out of 2.

Conclusion: The difference in the price comes through with the quality but these are still worth a look.

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 5.5/10

Thursday 6 June 2013

#60 - Mama Kimchi Flavour Noodles

  • Brand: Mama
  • Flavour: Kimchi Flavour
  • Cost: £0.60
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Oriental Style Instant Noodles
  • Weight: 90g (490g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: Gluten, Soy, Milk & Celery


Mama Noodles are one of the most popular instant noodle companies in the world, owned by Thai President Foods they are certainly the largest noodle manufacturer from Thailand.

As usual the packaging isn't recyclable but preparation is simple, everything in the pan, 400ml of boiling water, cook for 4 minutes or so with the odd stir and serve. Inside the packaging with the noodle block you get dehydrated vegetables, kimchi flavouring and some chilli powder. 0.5 out of 2. If you aren't aware of how the scoring works in this section you get half a point if you can eat it straight from the packet, half a point if they're easy to prepare and a full point goes to recyclability.

How do they taste? The answer is really nice. The bits of veg give a great bit of texture, the noodle to broth ratio is perfect and the spice is just awesome, they're getting 4 out of 4.

Do they remind me in any way of traditional kimchi? The answer is yes. For those who don't know, kimchi is the Korean national dish and is basically fermented vegetables with chilli. This gives a slightly pickled flavour and a lot of heat which is exactly how these taste to me, 2 out of 2!

How do I feel now I've finished? Well, my mouth is on fire but in a good way. I feel light and refreshed and ready to take on the afternoon! These are great! Another 2 out of 2.

Conclusion: Mama are the size they are for a reason - awesome!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 8.5/10

Wednesday 5 June 2013

#59 - Koka Curry Flavour Noodles


  • Brand: Koka Noodles
  • Flavour: Curry Flavour
  • Cost: £0.39
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: N/A
  • Weight: 85g (485g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: None Listed

    Very tasty, just a tad too salty in the end 
    Very tasty, just a tad too salty in the end

Back with the Koka packet noodles. I had the vegetable flavour yesterday and they did alright, plus I've already reviewed the curry flavour pot which did rather well, so I'm looking forward to these.

So they come in a non recyclable packet but are easy to prepare so that's 0.5 out of 2 in the first round. When you're preparing these though you get a great scent of Chinese curry (chip shop curry) and I love that so I'm looking forward more and more...

How do they taste? The answer is lovely. They've got a very slight level of spice, great sweetness and perfectly seasoned. It's just a shame there's nothing in the broth in terms of vegetables as that would have really set it off nicely. 3 out of 4 for out and out taste.

Do they remind me in any way of a curry dish? The answer is yes. Just like their sticky chip shop counterpart these noodles taste very good, the only difference is that these are in a broth and that doesn't bother me at all. 2 out of 2 for tasting like what they say they taste like.

How do I feel now I’ve finished? Wishing I had more, I'm not a massive eater but I could keep going with these. There is the old Koka salty taste coming through now though so only 1 out of 2 as it's a bit overpowering.

Conclusion: The pot version is 50p more but it contains a myriad of veg. The taste is very similar but you get more in the packet - tough one to call.

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 6.5 /10

Tuesday 4 June 2013

#58 - Koka Vegetable Flavour Noodles


  • Brand: Koka Noodles
  • Flavour: Vegetable Flavour
  • Cost: £0.39
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: N/A
  • Weight: 85g (485g when rehydrated)
  • Allergies: None Listed

    Very nice! 
Very nice!

So far I've only reviewed the Koka products in the pot, this is the first of the packet types and I've gone for a simple vegetable flavour although I did find a total of 6 flavours in the Tesco I was in (Forster Sq, Bradford) which will be reviewed before too long.

As usual there's nothing recyclable about the packaging but the cooking is one of the quickest I've seen, noodles in a pan and cook for 2 -3 minutes adding the flavourings, that's it and that's speedy! Still only 0.5 out of 2 for this section though.

Just before I move on, here's the entire ingredients list (noodles aside); Salt, MSG, Vegetable Flavouring, Soya Bean Extract & Spices - compare that to any packet of Super Noodles (at nearly twice the price too) and see which you prefer the look of. In fact, have a look at this review where I listed all the ingredients in the Southern Fried Chicken Super Noodles, I think it's astonishing I really do.

How do they taste? The answer is nice. There's a fair bit of salt knocking about but it really helps to bring out the other flavours. The main ones I pick up are onion and mushroom.

Do they remind me in any way of a vegetable dish? The answer is yes. They taste a bit like vegetable soup, they are salty though.

How do I feel now I’ve finished? Salty but contented, the broth / noodle ratio is bang on and the taste isn't bad at all.

Conclusion: Do not buy UK produced noodle products - unless they're Kabuto - Asian products are usually a lot better.

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 5.5 /10

Monday 3 June 2013

#57 - Batchelor's Bacon Flavour Super Noodles


  • Brand: Batchelor’s Super Noodles
  • Flavour: Bacon
  • Cost: £0.50 (reduced from £0.68)
  • From: Tesco
  • Description: Super Noodles in a tasty bacon flavour sauce
  • Weight: 100g (400g when prepared)
  • Allergies: Contains Celery, Gluten, Milk and Wheat

    Frazzles!        Soggy Frazzles!

Why oh why do I keep buying Super Noodles? My 'corporate' answer is because I want to be able to provide a report on every noodle product I can find, the honest answer is I just want to get them out of the way quickly.

As usual the packaging isn't recyclable and prep is easy so they get half a point.

When you open them you're hit with a chemical aroma that I've only ever smelled before from a bag of Frazzles. I don't like Frazzles, but I can't remember whether it's the taste or the fact that they lacerate every inch of your mouth as you eat them...

How do they taste? The answer is like Frazzles. Turns out I don't hate the taste (must just be the sharp edges) so this is OK. It's smoky, salty, sweet which all in all isn't too bad. The main problem is that the chemical odour translates into a chemical taste. 1.5 out of 4.

Do they remind me in any way of Bacon? The answer is no, they remind me of bacon crisps which don't taste like bacon. Just because someone once called this flavour bacon doesn't mean you can copy that and say you've got a bacon flavour - you haven't! In terms of the ingredients list the only flavour listed is 'Smoke Flavouring' - ridiculous! 0 out of 2.

How do I feel now I’ve finished? I don’t feel terrible but the Batchelor's salty mouth is back again and it’s not very pleasant. 0.5 out of 2.

Conclusion: Not the worst, not quite!

Need 4 Noodle Rating: 2.5 /10